9 green flags to look out for in dating, according to relationship coach: ‘You feel safe to…’

Dating is a journey where you go through many ups and downs. It has several indicators in the form of green flags, red flags, beige flags and so on.

While identifying red flag behaviour to help avoid painful heartbreaks is important, it is equally necessary to know the green flags that show the potential for a healthy and fulfilling connection. Relationship coach Hrithik Singh described green flags as positive traits or actions indicating healthy behaviours that set the foundation for a strong and lasting relationship.

He shared some green flags in dating to look out for:

They are clear about what they want
Unlike the ambiguous nature of red-flag individuals who hesitate to commit or define the relationship, green-flag people are clear about their intentions and know what they want. Hrithik Singh said,” When someone is dating consciously and intentionally, you don’t find them saying, ‘Oh, let’s just go with the flow/I don’t know what I want/I was bored and that’s why I installed this dating app,” they are clear about what they want and are not afraid of expressing that.

They take accountability
Green flag people take accountability. They don’t evade uncomfortable situations and own up to their mistakes. Hrithik emphasised how this shows emotional maturity. He added, “The hallmark of an emotionally mature person is that they take ownership in life. They don’t keep pointing fingers and blaming their parents/ex/circumstances, they have a healthy relationship with personal responsibility and take ownership to correct/improve themselves when someone offers them feedback.”

They are genuinely kind
Kindness is one of the integral values. Hrithik stated how kindness isn’t just a tool to impress or get validation but actually a way of life. Kindness has to be genuine.

Words and actions match up
There’s no discrepancy between words and actions. The promises are not shallow and have actual meanings. Hrithik explained that when someone is truly committed, their words and actions will line up consistently.

Safe space
A true green flag will make conversations easy and effortless. They are willing to create a safe space for difficult conversations. The relationship coach highlighted how these green flag people make it emotionally safe to open up, and he reminded it’s one of the telltale signs of a good relationship.

They are consistent
Consistency is one of the green flags in a person. The relationship coach said, “Someone who truly loves you and wants to build with you will treat your relationship like a priority and will make you feel certain, safe and appreciated. So consistency means how the green flag person is consistent in their efforts to keep building the relationship. Hrithik emphasised how consistency is the key differentiator between a partner who is emotionally invested and someone who is unavailable.”

Effortless connection
Every relationship needs work, but when it feels effortless, it’s an indicator that the partner is a green flag. The relationship coach explained that the right relationships feel effortless, not because they require no effort, but because both partners equally commit to building the connection and ‘show up’.

Respect boundaries
Everyone has boundaries and thresholds, and they don’t let people cross to preserve their privacy. Partners need to respect that. In fact, according to the relationship coach, it is one of the true tests of character. Hrithik explained, “The true test of someone’s character is how they respond to you when they don’t get their way. How your partner reacts to your limits/NOs demonstrates their relationship with emotional maturity and boundaries.”

Have space for your vulnerabilities and insecurities
A partner is supposed to make you feel at ease and accept you however you are. Relationship coach Hrithik pointed out that one of the signs of a bad partner is shaming insecurities and weaponising vulnerabilities. He added, “A good partner acknowledges your insecurities/vulnerabilities and doesn’t make you feel bad for your ‘ugly parts.’”