One of the most popular stereotypes of male sexuality is that men want sex all of the time because they’re just “wired” that way.
In other words, sex is seen as a largely biological function for men, with their emotional and psychological states having little to do with it.
This stereotype can be harmful because it can make a guy start to wonder what’s wrong with him when he doesn’t want sex but his partner does–and to the extent that this becomes a chronic source of concern, it can create performance anxiety and detract from his ability to become and stay aroused in the future.
This is but one of the many reasons why it’s important for us to rethink our assumptions about male sexuality.
As sex therapist Esther Perel explains in the video below, we need to recognize that men’s sexuality isn’t completely detached from their psychology–there’s an intimate interconnection between men’s sexual performance and their emotional states.
As a result, we shouldn’t just assume that when men experience sexual difficulties that the underlying problem is biological in nature. Check out the video below to learn more and for some practical tips from Perel for overcoming sexual performance anxiety.
To learn more about research on the psychological and emotional factors that affect men’s sexual desire, check out this article.