Let’s Talk Sex | Tips for a Healthy Sex Life With Kidney Disease

Sex may permeate our popular culture, but conversations about it are still associated with stigma and shame in Indian households.

As a result, most individuals dealing with sexual health issues or trying to find information about sex often resort to unverified online sources or follow the unscientific advice of their friends. To address the widespread misinformation about sex, running this weekly sex column, titled ‘Let’s Talk Sex’. We hope to initiate conversations about sex through this column and address sexual health issues with scientific insight and nuance.
In this article, we will share some tips that your sex life can adapt while having kidney disease.

Dialysis and kidney disease often bring physical changes that can impact your sex life. Don’t worry, you can still have a fulfilling intimate relationship. Dialysis affects people differently, so staying open and honest with your partner is key. Your sex life and intimacy with your partner can still be an important part of your life with dialysis. While it may require some patience and experimenting, don’t lose hope. With open communication, creativity, and patience, you can maintain a healthy sex life.

HOW KIDNEY DISEASE AND DIALYSIS AFFECT INTIMACY
Hormonal Changes: Hormone levels fluctuate, decreasing sex drive. Supplements or medications may help, so talk to your doctor. Making lifestyle changes to improve energy like light exercise, better sleep, and reduced stress can also help boost your libido.

Fatigue and Low Energy: Fatigue is a mood killer. Try timing intimacy around when you feel most energised. Quickies and naps together afterwards are options too. Cuddle, give massages, kiss and be intimate in other ways when sex seems tiring.

Erectile Dysfunction (ED): Men with kidney disease are more prone to erectile dysfunction. This can be the result of nerve damage, blood vessel problems, hormone imbalances, or the side effects of certain medications.

Low self-esteem: Self-esteem may take a hit from body changes. Know that you’re still desirable and focus on pleasuring each other. Try positions where catheters and fistulas are less noticeable or get intimate in low light. Lingerie or role play can boost confidence.

Vaginal Dryness: Lubrication may be needed more often. Use water-based lubes and apply generously before and during sex. For women, vaginal moisturisers used regularly can help too.

MAKING TIME FOR INTIMACY IN YOUR DIALYSIS SCHEDULE
When you’re on dialysis, finding time for intimacy with your partner can be challenging. Between dialysis treatments, doctor visits, dietary restrictions, and fatigue, your schedule may feel packed. However, making space for physical and emotional intimacy should remain a priority in your relationship.

Talk Openly About Your Needs and Limitations: Be honest with your partner about how you’re feeling and what you need. Let them know if you’re too tired for sex or if your access site is sore. Discuss trying different positions or activities that are more comfortable for you. Compromise and understanding are key.

Focus on Quality Over Quantity: You may not be able to be intimate as often as you’d like, so make the most of the times you are able to. Cuddle, give each other massages with scented oil, engage in foreplay, and be fully present in the moment.

Get Creative With Your Timing: If your dialysis schedule only allows for intimacy on certain days, you may need to get creative. Wake up a bit earlier before your treatment or take advantage of the time after while you’re still feeling energetic. You might also consider an afternoon delight when you have a day off from dialysis and doctor visits. The time of day doesn’t really matter as long as you make connecting with your partner a priority.

Make Time for Your Partner: Between dialysis treatments, work or family obligations, and just life in general, it can be hard to find time for your relationship. But making your partner a priority is key. Try setting aside time each week just for the two of you to connect emotionally and physically. Even simple things like cooking a meal together, giving each other massages, or engaging in light exercise like walking can help you stay close.

Explore Other Intimate Activities: While intercourse may be off the table for some, there are many other ways to be intimate. Engage in foreplay like kissing, touching, and oral sex. Try different positions that don’t put pressure on your access site.

Stay Positive: Having kidney disease and being on dialysis can understandably put a strain on your body and mood. However, maintaining an optimistic outlook will help your overall well-being and relationship. Make the effort each day to appreciate the good in your life, express gratitude for your partner’s support, and focus on moments of joy whenever possible. Your positive attitude will inspire your partner and bring you both comfort during this difficult time.

Staying sexually active and intimate while on dialysis is possible, but it requires effort and a willingness to adapt to your body’s needs. With open communication, creativity, and a commitment to quality over quantity, you can maintain a healthy sex life despite the challenges of your medical condition. Make the time for intimacy, and your relationship will be better for it.

KIDNEY DISEASE AND PREGNANCY

Kidney disease makes pregnancy significantly more challenging. While it doesn’t directly affect sperm production, it increases risks for both mother and baby. Women with kidney disease face higher chances of pre-eclampsia, worsening kidney function, and premature birth. If you have kidney disease and are considering pregnancy, it’s absolutely crucial to have an in-depth discussion with your doctor beforehand. They’ll assess your individual risks, discuss ways to manage them, and help you make the safest decision for both you and your potential child.

So, there you have it – dealing with kidney disease can really impact your sex life. But the good news is that with some effort, understanding, and open communication, you and your partner can find ways to stay intimate and enjoy sex again. Don’t lose hope, and remember that you’re not alone. Many couples go through similar challenges, but they find solutions with patience, creativity and a sense of adventure. The most important thing is that you and your partner are comfortable. Approach it with a spirit of playfulness and fun. With the right attitude, you can overcome obstacles and reconnect in new, exciting ways. Your relationship is worth it!